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Since May 11, 2022


Gill Gruhn

I Want To Be Me

By Amal Alhomsi


ith a big dream and a talent that merits it, Gill Gruhn left Winnipeg and her nursing school to pursue her music career here in the mountains. “I was paying for my school. I don’t want to pay for being confused anymore.” Her eyes were following the clouds as she spoke. At age 9, her father gave her a guitar for Christmas, and Gill has been playing ever since. She inherited her love for music from her father: “My dad is in a band. He’s been in a band since I was born. He has been in many bands; Labyrinth, Fury, Deep Snake, and so many others. He’s now in an Iron Maiden tribute band called Iron Manitoba.” Her father wanted her to take guitar lessons from a young age, so he asked his band’s guitarist to teach her how to play. “I hated it,” Gill laughed, “I remember the one thing that made me quit. The guitarist asked me to play this chord, and I was trying to play it, and then he said that he can order a pizza and it would get here in the time it's taking me to play the chord. I was 9 years old!” Since then, Gill started teaching herself. Although her father mainly plays classical rock and metal, Gill’s music is nowhere close to that. “I love sad songs. It’s not because I’m sad. I think every genre of music makes you feel a certain thing, but to me sad songs move me to a point where I can feel it in my body.” She recalls hearing Phoebe Bridgers for the first time, “It was her song Funeral, and I was like ‘this is it!’ and I learnt every single song she played and I studied her lyrics.” Gill then started writing her own music. She shared about her song, I Want To Be Me, and the events that inspired it:

“You know when you are in love with someone, and you give them everything, that’s what the song is about; It’s about loving someone so much that you start losing parts of yourself… This song is about wanting to be myself again.”


I asked Gill why does she play music, and what does music mean to her:


“Music means everything to me. Music is a universal love that everyone shares. It doesn’t matter what music you like, whether you like screamo or country, all music does the same thing to everyone; it makes you feel full.” 

Oesa is privileged enough to record, for the first time, Gill’s I Want To Be Me. The song will be released on Spotify soon, but you can find it on youtube in the link above. We hope that when you listen to it, you'll feel full.

Live performance from Gill on Oesa Sessions

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